The Other Me
Got this person in my head I used to think he was me Now I see him as my enemy He tells me I’m no good Tells me, I’m a failure The voice is mine But these are not my words Sometimes, he changes tune Tells me I’m the shit The bees knees But I don’t believe him Not one bit Then sometimes He likes to make me doubt Lose my trust In the stream of life Fills my head with angst And bitter strife But, I found him out! The voice is a liar The voice isn’t me He’s a bloody whiner Chattering incessantly I’m not listening anymore Not reacting to his Endless narrative It’s my life Not his I don’t know who it is This voice that sounds
Read More »OK, OK,I get it!!!!
Recently, I wrote about being on the menu. It seems as if I still am. Over the weeks that have followed, so many strange things have occurred that defy really any logical explanation, that seem to be repeating the same message to me over and over. Yesterday, was quite bizarre and was a day in which I saw a friend connect with a girl in a rapid and strange way. My friend is a younger generation to me, and the girl he/we met, considerable younger – in her early twenties. Her English was not so good, but my friend was able to translate. So, let me repeat – met this girl for the first time at 9pm as a result of an event that took place with my friend and
Read More »You are my song
This song is for you The one who occupies my thoughts Who fills my dreams The one who answers My innermost desires This song is for you Even if you never know it You are a mirror To my aching tortured soul My glowing muse This song is about you The one I want to touch and feel The one I need to be with Desire is like a fire Burning within me You are my song You are my lyrics You are the one That inspires me
Read More »Solace
The way to liberty is within me The faces around a table Shouting, screaming It’s me you wanna be I must choose if I’m able Exactly who I want to be Meanwhile, it is she who reflects My many faces back to me Timing is everything When words have deeper meaning Than superficially seeming Wrapped in embrace I find the inner me It’s a deeper, more vivid Version lit with energy A fleeting glimpse of another reality Potentiality Voices silenced Momentarily I’m getting closer I’m getting nearer Beginnings and endings Intertwined In this I find Solace
Read More »Words of Power
Just recently, someone called me a ‘denier’. I suddenly found myself thinking about the things we call people – the words that we use and how we use them. It struck me that these are words of power. Words like ‘sexist’, ‘racist’, denier’ and so on. They carry a weight and a magical intent that has been placed their by the intent of the many times those words have been used. The are in a way a sort of egregore ( an occult concept representing a “thoughtform” or “collective group mind”, an autonomous psychic entity made up of, and influencing, the thoughts of a group of people.) in a word. Let me return to the word ‘denier’ as in climate change denier. When someone uses this expression against you it
Read More »Responsibility
Recently, I wrote a song called Risky Business. actually, I’ve written a lot of songs but this one is one of may favorites. You can listen to it below… I’ve had a number of reactions to the lyrics however. I say that “you must blame yourself” in the song – which is about life in general. A couple of people queried this line and I thought I would respond. What this song is about is accepting personal responsibility. That’s a pretty unpopular idea these days as everyone more or less blames everything and everyone for their problems and rarely simply accepts that their life is their own responsibility. In my little book on creating reality, I said… As an esotericist, I have come to the conclusion that I am responsible
Read More »The Dilemma of Fatherhood
How to explain to a child That I am imperfect? How to cover an inadvertent lie? How to be strong when I feel so weak? How to be a man who does what he speaks? The dilemma of Fatherhood The dilemma of life How to describe evil And otherwise good? How to be fair and just How to to explain the passion of lust? The dilemma of fatherhood The dilemma of life How to not pass on my hang ups My hurts, my fears and my pain How to keep her canvas whole Help her explore and find her way How not to criticise How to be her guide That stands by her side?
Read More »Sorry – Not Me.
There is a horrible moment in a relationship where you see that your partner doesn’t know who you are. Thinking the way I think, I see this as a sort of projection of sorts from them onto you that they cannot see past. Breaking that down has proven to be impossible and it has caused damage in many instances. They simply see what the see and not the reality. Talking with others about relationships this last few weeks suggests to me that this is a human condition. Let me give you a couple of examples. For my last partner, I lived in cyberworld, ignoring her and chasing other women. It didn’t matter what I said, or did, this is what she believed. In fact, she still believes it. From my
Read More »Who Am I?
Good question. Funny thing is that I have spent years trying to figure this out. I have met different parts of my psyche in meditation and for a while, I thought I knew who I was – warts and all – or probably better put as Mr. Angry and the others. But, you know, that isn’t who I am. Nope. It’s who I thought I was. Actually, I now know I haven’t got a clue who I am. When you live with someone – a wife or a partner – for 30 odd years, you become someone else. Then when suddenly, after all that time with a special someone in your life (or a special two someones over that 30 odd years), you find your self single. Then, you look
Read More »A Soccer Summer
From a football perspective, I don’t much like summer. It’s difficult to resist googling ‘Hull City News’ but every time I do I wonder why. If there is a media that loves ‘false news’ it sure is the sports media and so all summer long you get to read about who is buying all of your best players and who might be coming to replace them and frankly, most of the time, it is pure garbage. However, I can never quite resist reading the lurid headlines anyway and always find myself somewhat disappointed to find out who we are losing….. Harry Maquire was a blow but who can blame the lad… 80k a week! It’s obscene. The there is pre-season. I’m also a bit of a fool there too following
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