The Meaning of Life?
There are moments in which I truly despair. Those painful times when my self-confidence seems to disintegrate and I find myself questioning everything. Suddenly, I feel valueless and deeply alone. For all the effort and all the ups and downs of life, what have I really achieved? When I die will anyone really give a damn? How do you measure your worth, your impact on life? It isn’t job titles, or money, houses or cars. Is it a legacy of writings? Probably it is the impact that you made on people and I fear I have had little impact outside of a very small group of people. There is a fear, no a deep seated insecurity at work that says it was a life wasted and time squandered. And yet,Read More »
This weekend, we were in Prague. A beautiful city with lots to see including Vysehrad. We had never been to Vysehrad for some reason and so that is where we spent Saturday afternoon. Vysehrad has some magnificent views of the river and the city. It also has a church – St. Peter and St. Paul. They charge money to look around the church so we did’t bother but we did wander around the churchyard. Don’t ask me why but that cemetery really creeped me out. It had a sense of something unpleasant and rotten. It left a deep and gloomy impression on me that I am yet to entirely shake off… Cold aged stone has lost its polish The words still legible mourn Moss grows and the ground is dampRead More »
Humanity’s Death Wish
Humanity seems to have a death wish. Not a day goes by without reading someone’s idea that the world is about to end, Jesus is coming back, revelation is about to happen, the planets are all aligned and so on. Even some people that I respect in magical circles seem to be looking for some kind of end. Why? We do not seem able to learn the most basic of lessons as a species. Throughout known history, people have looked to end times and seen signs and portents of doom all around them. It never happened and yet people keep on keeping on seeing signs and looking for signs of the end times. Sorry, I do not get it. Why? Don’t we ever learn? These days, there are entire websitesRead More »
Do You want Eve’s Apple?
Imagine if you where really all powerful, ever present and totally aware. Would you do anything at all? I mean, imagine knowing that the words you used could drive another person over the edge or that the journey you are about to take will result in the death of another person? If we had the awareness of a God we might actually never do anything simply because we would know that any action, any word, any thought has consequences. Would you want to be responsible for the consequences of your actions? If you understand that thought and the terrible situation you would be in, then it begs the question, how confident everyone must be to be running around, interacting, arguing, fighting, spouting opinions and so on. Of course, we areRead More »
As many of you who visit my blog will know, Time is something that intrigues me and that I write a lot about. Well, today, as I sat here working at my desk something rather interesting occurred. For a few seconds, I was back in the mid 1970’s sitting at my bedroom desk in my childhood home doing homework. It seemed to me as if I just flipped into that past moment and back again due to some outside prompt – a sound perhaps? It was a truly bizarre feeling because I expected to look out of the window and see Thornwick Ave in Willerby from an upper vantage point. Instead, I saw my street in Brno. I felt shocked by that somehow too. Was it all just imagination? Or,Read More »
I was Troubled. Now I am Astonished.
The other day I was participating in a discussion on Facebook. The theme of the topic was the supermarkets here in Brno and one person posted a very long tirade about empty shelves. I was amazed. Empty shelves? Where? When? This was such an opposite to my experience with Brno supermarkets that I responded rather too quickly. I said something like – you must live in a parallel universe….. Of course, he took this as insulting, not knowing me. I think probably anyone would. But I actually meant it. It wasn’t an insult but an observational analysis that, as I grow older I more and more believe may be true. We all live in our own realities and we reflect back what we expect. It’s not quite that simple of course,Read More »
Adam and Eve
I have the words But perhaps I lack the wisdom Exploration is an exciting game Especially of those darkened inner regions As I build my tortuous iron chain Just like that of poor Mr. Marley Seeking ever more worldly gain To take along to my final party But there are chinks in my armour That steely shell that I built To protect myself from me Don’t need that silly psycho drama Strutting on a worldly stage Never to be heard no more A fool full of his own import But trapped in the guilded cage Of his own idiotic nature Nothing, nothing more to be Life’s a package of candy With sticky tangy centers Pungent tastes in the chewing Dissolves to nothing but tasty spit As I fade into theRead More »
The Meaning of Christmas – A short Story
The scene was a familiar one. The street was filled with people hustling and bustling and jostling with each other from time to time. Their breaths hung in the freezing air like little trails of smoke. The street was lit in the darkness of the winter’s late afternoon by the colored christmas lights hanging from each lamp and in the shop windows. With just a few days left until the holiday, these were the last minuters – those who were ever increasingly desperate to grab their last few bargains and presents. Phillip watched in silence. The scene had a surreal quality about it. The anxious faces of people who in some instances, could ill afford the presents and gifts they were trying to purchase. He watched with increasing understanding ofRead More »
“Come and look at this,” my father said with a tone in his voice I recognized as meaning it was something interesting. I walked over to our kitchen table curiously. He had a book. It was actually a huge book and leather-bound. “It’s a bible,” explained my Dad. It was a large and heavy, black, leather-bound bible. It looked quite old too. “It belonged to neighbors of mine when I was a boy,” explained Dad leafing through some of the pages. “Here, look at this.” The inside cover of this huge family bible was written in and once I got used to the old fashioned hand writing, I realised it was a four generation family tree. Did it mark the path through the family that this bible had taken? AsRead More »
So You Want to Kill Me?
I am surrounded by friends and people I hold dear both physically and also via social media. Like most other people, I feel quite secure in my imaginary cocoon that is my life. I never really give much thought to the fact that a large number of people want to kill me. Why these people would want to kill me is a puzzle. They don’t know me, they don’t interact with me, they don’t know my name or what I do with my life. They don’t know about the things I am good at, they don’t know if I am a good person or a bad person. They don’t care about my hopes, my fears, my loves or my passions. Rather, I am somehow a subject of hatred for themRead More »