Moving On

There are moments in life in which fate acts. That can be the only explanation. Just like the Tower tarot, your world is shaken and the foundations tested and even as the chaos seems to grow and overtake everything, the Sun will shine on a new dawn and the wheel of life keeps turning. For the last few months, I have taken shelter, as the tower shook and then crumbled on its unstable foundations. I found myself powerless to act. I was afraid. Afraid of losing a sense of stability and of something that I thought I valued. Everywhere I went, everyone I met, and even the signs in the sky kept telling me the same message that I didn’t want to hear. Like the monkeys, I blocked my ears and my sight. Frozen.

But that wheel keeps moving relentlessly and so I meditated, sobbed, raged in anger at the betrayal I felt, and experienced anxiety, panic attacks. I reached for my  shields – cigs, drink, isolation and denial.

Then, one day, the Sun peeked again above the horizon and I caught a glimpse of its light and warmth. I knew that moving on was needed and if in one area, then why not many areas of my life? I poked my head up again and found a world full of emotionally damaged and hurting people. I understood, we hurt ourselves and I know I have to accept responsibility. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying it is my fault but I am responsible for my life, its path, and my happiness. No one or anything can make me happy but me. Only me.

And guess what? I am now FREE to so exactly that.

 

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