Periodically I seem to fall into some sort of depression. Actually, I am not sure if it is depression or something else. I become lethargic and I simply lose interest in everything. I mean, things seem like a good idea but then I simply cannot be bothered to do it. I sit wasting days on end essentially doing nothing at all except aimless web surfing or TV watching. I don’t want to go out or do anything and nothing seems to make me feel complete. Is that depression? Usually, it lasts a few days and then I am fine again – the usual busy old me. Anyway, as you may have guessed. I am currently in this mood or frame of mind. I can’t be bothered to do anything at all and everything is simply too much effort.
Last night I wrote a few more pages of my novel but couldn’t be bothered to read what I had wrote. Today, I thought I would start compiling a new collection of poetry – I even have the name ready – Best Laid Plans … and other strange tails. Please note, the spelling is deliberate! I sort of put all my latest poems in a word file but then simply got bored with it – too much effort and nobody reads my poetry anyway so what the hell am I wasting my time for? Work? I usually enjoy my work but the last few days of last week and the first few days of this I find it simply impossible to start anything and if I start it I can’t be bothered to finish. I hate feeling like this. I really do.
Outside its raining and it seems to have been raining for ages. Its August! Where is the sun? Maybe it is the weather getting me down I don’t know but I hope to hell I lose this mood soon….