I am a man who likes routine. I have to admit that, though this may make me dull and boring and isn’t necessarily an Aquarian trait, I like routine. What I mean is that I like a schedule. Change is inevitable but lack of routine creates anxiety in me….Sticking to a routine requires discipline. Just recently, I don’t appear capable of that self-discipline. The result is that I become a mess of anxiety that achieves less, does nothing and, since this becomes an endless cycle, I will eventually disappear up my own arse I am sure.
Part of the problem is that I am sick and cannot muster the energy to apply the self-discipline. I have finally given up on the ginger, lemon and honey teas, disgusting-colored fruit and vegie smoothies and C and ZN regimen. I have made an appointment with a doctor and fully expect to blow away all my good work with a course of antibiotics…. Course, when I say given up I don’t mean I have stopped with the good habits just that I have finally come to the conclusion that this alone is actually insufficient to solve the problem.
Next, I was mid-trying to start a new routine. I had bought an exercise bike and, for the first time in my lazy and sport-avoiding life, I was on it twice a day for 20 minutes each. After two-weeks of this, I was losing weight and beginning to feel – well – quite good actually. Course, I have had to drop this, for now, as it seems to actually encourage those bloody bacteria, or whatever, that have cheekily invaded my body.
More than that, I am working at home and I just find time flies. I feel guilty taking 15-minutes for lunch for some reason, but I also seem to have so much more to do. Suddenly, I am letting the dog out 3-4 times per day, doing the washing, hanging the clothes etc. These domestic activities might not take long but somehow, they break up the day in such a way as to make it seem to go super fast!
OK, OK, Maybe this is all just a bunch of excuses – I have no discipline…..I need to re-discipline myself and establish a new routine. It’s not so difficult now is it?