I was reading an article by my friend and partner in crime in writing the Mystical Hexagram this morning on her blog. I suddenly understood that I am a total and utter failure.
It’s true. I am.
She has over 800 subscribers to her blog!!!! I have been blogging for years and have never developed any kind of a following at all. Nope. I am a total failure as a blogger. Inept. Asteroth’s Domain – online since 2005 has 4 followers! How damning.
I’m sorry though. I’m not quitting. I like failure….. I am used to it. Ever since I can remember I have failed at things or, quite honestly, decided I am crap at stuff. I recall when age 12 playing school soccer with my new glasses on suddenly understanding how people could head a soccer ball. They could actually see it. Of course, by that age, it was far too late to develop any sporting ability now that I could see. I suck at so many things its not true. I trip over the smallest obstacles, I can’t fix anything, I have two left feet and two right hands. But, I don’t care….
I’m quite happy about who I am these days. I like myself you see. Not in an egotistical way but I am comfortable with myself (well mostly – that belly and those man boobs excepted). I am who I am and I do what I do. It’s great. I can’t be labelled. I am maverick.
I have also learned that mistakes and ineptness are useful. If you really try hard you can actually learn from mistakes. You can! Its not easy I will admit, but its possible. Ineptness – well it strengthens you. You learn to adapt you see. Weakness becomes strength. Age does this to us I think. We mellow and we learn who we are and to be comfortable with that.
In terms of blogging, writing books and so one, I just keep at it. Why not? It is fun.
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