Alone

I am alone
Sitting with my memories
Scenes of life pass me by
A tear wells in my eye
It is just me
Talking to me
No one cares
Distinct lack of interest
No one gives a shit
So here I sit
Alone
Talking to myself
Worried about my mental health
I am the performer
The audience too
I clap in tune to the song
That I am singing
Cos no one else cares
Its just me
Alone
Me

alone

Celebrity

I will tell you this
In a moment of honesty
I would love to be your celebrity
Come on you papparazzi
You can follow me
Snap your snaps and invade my privacy
Follow me around in your idiocy
I want to be wanted
I want to be liked
Most of all I want that life
Married to a famous wife
I’ll sign my autograph
Give it on a photograph
I wanna be a star
I wanna go far
I’ll happily be your celebrity
Smile with insincerity
Give my star studded opinion
I want to be in
the in crowd
Cool, I am ice
Even if I’m not so nice
Love me
Follow me
Scream and holler
Its no bother
Want to be your celebrity
Want you to follow me
Wouldn’t that be total fun
Forever on the run
Known everywhere
Eyes stare
Give it to me
I am celebrity

pap

Off To Aston…

I remember being very keen to escape from Hull and Willerby. At age 18, my chance had arrived. I was off to Aston University in Birmingham for 3-years. It wasn’t my family I wanted to escape from it was the place. There was a big world to explore and I wanted to have a fresh start. Be the person that I was instead of the person people thought I was. Back then, Birmingham seemed miles and miles away. The train ride was via Doncaster and Sheffield and it was tremendously exciting…..

Birmingham itself was like a concrete jungle. Aston is near the city center and then it literally was concrete underpasses, concrete walkways, concrete bull ring and … well, it was all so much concrete really! Did I care? Hell no. I loved it there. I opened a bank account at Barclays and for 6-years lived off an overdraft paid off each semester by receipt of my grant monies (Thank you Barclays!). Aston is also like concrete. Huge, massive concrete and brick buildings with high ceilings and six or seven stories. Investment in this new University had however commenced and so there was a new glassy modern library and other buildings going up. The geology department was different. It was situated in what had been a small Victorian house by the library and what can only be termed a long pre-fabricated building (see photo at bottom). It had character.

aston-university

It was a different world back then it really was. No cell phones or computers meant we had to do everything the old fashioned way. It was also safer or I was naive? I would hitch hike home for a weekend. I would just decide Friday afternoon to go home and would set off walking from the city center with my thumb signal. I recall one day a guy in a small red vintage sports car stopped and drove me to Sheffield… that was fun. I always made it in 4-5 hours and would hitch hike back again on the Sunday afternoon….

Of course, it took me a while to understand people in Birmingham. A buzz was, I soon learned, what I might get at a bus stop… for example. It also took me the first year to truly settle in. It wasn’t as easy as I had imagined moving away and living on your own. But by my second year, I was stage manager at Aston Campus Entertainments in the Students Union, on Student Council and I had moved off campus to a flat in west Brom. that I shared with Brendan.

The first night that we moved in we thought we would go for a beer. Down the high street we went and the sound of reggae music ushered us into a pub. We opened the door talking animatedly and walked in. Then there was that moment when we realised that the music had stopped and that, apart from our chatter, there was total silence. We looked up and around. Every single person in that pub was black….. except us. And every single one of them was staring at us. I think we reacted the right way as we decided in for a penny, in for a pound and went to the bar. We ordered a beer. The chattering recommenced, the music came back on and within 30-minutes, Brendan and I were chit chatting away to everyone inside…….It turned out to be a really great place full of great people!

Naive? Probably….. but we had fun.

The Geology class of 1981. Yours truly is top row second from the left…..

astonclass

I Am A Stage

The light shines in my face
The rock n roll is loud here
Guitar screams and bass thunders
Reverberating in my head
Stereo composition drives
The beat is sensual and strong
This is my own made up song
Making it up as I go along
There are no rules
Cos’ rules are for Fools
There are no requirements
Except to entertain
The song in my head
Doesn’t actually exist
And yet that song rocks
I am a stage – a venue
I am all the rage – rocking too
A driving beat moves me
It is the engine of my life
Pumping, thumping along
It’s the heart that drives this song
Making it up as I go along
I can’t do anything wrong
Life throbs and pulses
Mind over matter
Inside over outside
A rock n roll ride
That song inside
Keeps me jiving
I am the Lord of the dance, said He
But, the dance is inside of me
In my heart
Tiphareth rocks
To the song of life

song-of-life

Death on the Beach

Sunlight shimmers on churning waters
Sand glitters like gold dust rolling with the waves
An azure sky, brilliant colors brightened
There is a surreal element to this surf
Tumbling over, erosive currents pull
Unreal, it seems to be so unreal
Like a waking lucid dream
Dreamt by this dreamer
Experienced in this place
A moment of time trapped
In my memory forever
So that when I endeavor
To recall
It’s there
Yet again
Like an aging photo
In a photo album
Faded at the edges
Handled too many times
Deeply etched lines
On paper and my face
As the years have passed by
Faster, ever faster
To that ultimate destination
Without silly recrimination
Giving in to the tidal pull
Sand gold swirling around me
Sunlight tuning blue
Dragged away by the tide that brought me
Tumbling over, erosive currents pull
Unreal, it seems so unreal
Life passing away
Into a waking lucid dream
Dreamt by this dreamer
On the other side of life

bigstock-Wave-on-the-beach-52761430

No One Will Remember

And when we are gone
It will be like we didn’t exist
All the trials, tribulations
All the joy, the jubilation
A life of toil and achievement
Forgotten and gone
No one will remember deeds
No one will know the impact
Written only in the dust of death
After that final breath

remember

She’s Out There

I came across the hand written lyrics to a song that I wrote in 1976! I can still play it and one day I will record it as it is actually quite good even if I say so myself. It is rock reggae like the Police but predates them and it is what I played in their dressing room at Aston University…. but that is another story that you can read here..

Here are the lyrics….

She’s out there
She’s out there
She’s out there
Somewhere

She was one them girls
She was good looking and she knew it
She was oh so so cool
But there was something missing
With that chick oooooh

She’s out there
She’s out there
She’s out there
Somewhere

She was out on the town
She was grooving around but she blew it
She was oh so so rude
But there was something missing
With that chick ooooooh

She’s out there
She’s out there
She’s out there
Somewhere

Brings back memories…..

Punk Girl by Jakob west.

Punk Girl by Jakob west.