Music…. I love it

I have always enjoyed music. Even as a very small boy I was allowed to creep back downstairs to watch Top of the Pops and my favorite back then was Sandy Shore. In my early teens I discovered T.Rex. I still have a lot of T.Rex in my collection. I recall that I also enjoyed 10CC, Roxy Music (early only, The Sweet and a few more besides. I detested Slade primarily because of how they looked. My first album was a T.Rex compilation called Ride A white Swan and my second album was Suzi Quatro’s first effort… Can the Can… I loved that song!

However, a strange thing happened in the summer of 1974. A french pen friend cam to visit us and he was desperate to buy some albums including several by a certain Status Quo. I have to admit, the first time I heard Piledriver I hated it. By the time I cam back from France, I was a fan. The sound of that album and Hello and Quo was just amazing to me. Incredible. I still love listening to Status Quo and am in fact listening to them right now. Not much of a fan of their last 20-years but up until Rockin All Over the World, I love it. After that, I started to listen to other bands like Thin Lizzy, Pink Floyd, Genesis and so on. Awesome.

I recall the first time I heard Opeth. I took my son to see them with friend of his at a club in Houston, Texas. I couldn’t stand it. Loud, repetitive noise with growling to boot. Death metal was not my thing. Famous last words right? Yep. Opeth are my favorite band of all time and I have seen them 6 or 7 times live and even had dinner with them. Super guys and really talented. You have to listen a few times but once you get your ear in there is no song better than Demon of the Fall! Of course, this opened up a whole host of musicians and I also love Porcupine Tree and anything by Steven wilson along with Pain of Salvation.

To be honest though, I like a wide variety of music and a quick inspection of iTunes on my iMAC will reveal all of the above plus The Stones, Coldplay, Shakespeares Sister, Sunrise Avenue, U2, The Verve, The Zac Brown Band, Roxette, The Pretenders, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, Kula Shaker, Ozzie, Lana Del Ray, No Doubt, Japan, Edie Brickell, Gary Numan, Adam Ant, Birdy etc. I also listen to a lot of meditation music and classical music courtesy of youtube.

All is One

I looked down onto and across a very strange and unfamiliar landscape. It was a rocky, largely barren place with sharpened peaks rising all around. Yellows and grays beneath an azure sky. It was like looking into a vast ampitheater and I recall thinking that the heat of the midday sun must be unbearable down there in the center. Strange, because ‘down there’ was really up there on top of a flattened peak of dust and bare rocks. It was a strange and crazy point of vantage that I had of this scene. There were a number of squarish whitened buildings dotted around in the yellow-green valleys – signs of life at least.

It was then that I noticed that atop the flattened rocky peak in the center of my vision there were figures. From my position of vantage it seemed as if there may be a small crowd and three crosses. I recall idly wondering about the crosses until somehow I seemed to zoom in upon the scene as if to clarify what it was I was seeing. Sure enough, there were about 50 or so people gathered atop this cross between a mountain and a hill and three crosses. Each cross had a man upon it wracked in agony. The central cross was the one that drew my attention and that of the small crowd as a soldier thrust a spear into the man’s side. The crowd gasped and cheered.

For me, it all happened in a rush as if the entire world had snuck in on me in an almighty rush of energies, sound and light. I realized clearly and without doubt that the Nazarene was dying and as his head dropped and he gave a last breath there was a massive explosion of light and energy. Momentarily, it was suddenly as dark as night and then a small spark of light seemed to appear emanating from the Nazarene dead upon the cross and this light moved outwards in a massive concentric circle, expanding and expanding to encapsulate everything. Again, my vantage point shifted and now seemed seemed distant as I watched in sheer amazement at this concentric shower of light and energy that was spreading through every rock, tree, living creature – every single molecule and atom on the planet.

I hadn’t expected it but the concentric ring of ever expanding light seemed to hit me and I was knocked back as if hit by a nuclear blast. The light filled me up. It enlightened every atom of my body sitting there in my office chair in Houston, Texas. A powerful rush of energy like nothing I had experienced to that point and have not experienced again. The effect of this was to momentarily knock me out – I blacked out literally. But then I was back.

I was everything. Everything was me. We were all one thing in total harmony. The planet, the Universe, you. It was all me – us.

It lasted for an just instant and then the light was gone moving off into the Universe in a huge concentric circle.

But just for a moment, I had been fortunate to have the light of the Christ show me the Truth.

christ crucified

You can read an alternate account of this experience in my book Inner Journeys (Thoth, 2005)

The Story – from Best Laid Plans

I am going to tell you a story
Although it has a beginning
It’s ending is yet unwritten
And maybe has no ending

Once upon a long, long time ago
A boy was to a woman born
He sneezed and started his life
He was the family’s very first born

He grew and grew and grew
Tall and thin but quite bright
And off to college he went
Seeking out truth and inner light

He looked and searched all about
Examining all manner of places
Never finding what he sought
But he covered all the bases

One day in despair he sat
Quietly contemplating naught
Tired of seeking, he took a rest
And lost his train of thought

The inner vision grew and grew
Discovering very strange places
Filled with even stranger men
And their weird eyeless faces

He journeyed on and on afar
Deeper and deeper he did travel
Until he met a beautiful queen
It was then all began to unravel

The Queen you see embraced
Our weary and worn out hero
And he drank her kisses deep
While floating as if in limbo

I have the answers that you seek
Said the loving yet listless Queen
I am your eternal polar shadow
Living life somewhere in between

I am the answer that you seek
She said between those kisses
I can make us both complete
But our hero became suspicious

Tell me then, he said to her
What is the meaning?
And why am I here at all?
Because surely I am simply dreaming

The Queen hearing this did smile
And began to sing a familiar rhyme
About rowing a boat down a stream
And when he heard that final line
That life is but a dream
He knew
Do you too?

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Best Laid Plans and Other Strange Tails – Out 1st September 2014

OK call me mad or whatever you wish but I will be publishing my 5th collection of poetry on September 1st. Titled Best Laid Plans and Other Strange Tails, it will be available in paperback and Kindle versions as of that date and I will launch it with a special promotion too so keep your eyes peeled! For those who enjoy poetry, I already have several poetry collections out including;

Moon Whispers
Astral Messages
Poems for the Little Room
Weird Tales

All are available in paperback and Kindle formats on all Amazon sites and also directly from me.

This may or may not be the cover…. we will see.

BookCoverPreview

Deeper

It’s so dark I can hardly see
A gloom lies all around
A dark blanket of heaviness
Like the fog that envelopes
My mind in misty confusion
A dark and gloomy conclusion

I’m tired so very tired
Death and destruction
War and virulent pestilence
There is neither truth nor sense
In anything that I see
Yet is this an echo of me?

Deeper I seem to fall
And the deeper it gets
The more I feel constrained
As if trapped and contained
In some sort of heavy mud
Some stinking heap of crud

I am in a darkened tunnel
That never seems to end
The light I see is distant
Becoming even non-existent
As I seem to sink in deeper
Deeper, ever deeper

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CBA

Periodically I seem to fall into some sort of depression. Actually, I am not sure if it is depression or something else. I become lethargic and I simply lose interest in everything. I mean, things seem like a good idea but then I simply cannot be bothered to do it. I sit wasting days on end essentially doing nothing at all except aimless web surfing or TV watching. I don’t want to go out or do anything and nothing seems to make me feel complete. Is that depression? Usually, it lasts a few days and then I am fine again – the usual busy old me. Anyway, as you may have guessed. I am currently in this mood or frame of mind. I can’t be bothered to do anything at all and everything is simply too much effort.

Last night I wrote a few more pages of my novel but couldn’t be bothered to read what I had wrote. Today, I thought I would start compiling a new collection of poetry – I even have the name ready – Best Laid Plans … and other strange tails. Please note, the spelling is deliberate! I sort of put all my latest poems in a word file but then simply got bored with it – too much effort and nobody reads my poetry anyway so what the hell am I wasting my time for? Work? I usually enjoy my work but the last few days of last week and the first few days of this I find it simply impossible to start anything and if I start it I can’t be bothered to finish. I hate feeling like this. I really do.

Outside its raining and it seems to have been raining for ages. Its August! Where is the sun? Maybe it is the weather getting me down I don’t know but I hope to hell I lose this mood soon….

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Europe is on Vacation

August. Everyone seems to disappear in August. Usually by 2pm on a business day, I would have had close to 50 or so emails and I would be deep into multi-tasking a number of different activities. Today? I have had 1 email on my business account and perhaps 8 on my personal account. OK so the US is about to get to the office on the east coast and things may pick up but here in Europe – everyone but me is on holiday! Yes. The entire continent is on vacation for August it seems.

On Friday, I sent an email to a list of contacts about a conference. I would say 95% returned an I am on vacation message! We also decided to spend the weekend at a spa in Hungary or the Slovak Republic but I had an incredibly hard time finding a hotel room and ended up finding a room 38 km from where we were heading…. Yes, its August. The entire continent is gone. All on vacation.

Hope you all have a great vacation and hope to hear from you in a couple of weeks….

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