Fool

I have a numbing headache
It’s not really painful
But sits just on the edge of perception
Clouding my thoughts
Something weighs heavily on me today
Following me like a foul smell
Or that stale taste
From yesterday’s unwanted cigarette
Stubbed out half-smoked
In the disgust of will
Bent, twisted, broken in this situation I am in
Surrounded by comfort
All those things
Yet I am alone and wallowing in loneliness
I walk the street
Idly people watching
Surrounded by people and abandoned by friends
Life is lonely
If I could only
Be somewhere else at this moment in time
On a beach
Swimming in the Sea
Anything to put a gap between Him and Me
Disconnected
Momentarily misdirected
Wallowing around in an Ocean of bitterness
Drinking the cup
Swallowed all up
The reflection of a reflection all grown up
I can sparkle
Yes, I can shine
I am aging like a very fine wine
Opened too soon
Consumed in an empty room
Too drunk to be tasted
My swallower is totally wasted
Unaware
Unfair?
That wine has given me a numbing headache
It’s not so painful
Sitting on the edge of reality
Clouding my thoughts
Weighing me down
Sucking me deeper
And deeper in
Lifelessly paraded
Waved like a flag
Dressed in drag
Spirals upon spirals
The waves thunder by
Me? All I hear is one giant sigh
Endings are ending
But also beginnings
Am I to be born anew?
A Decision
Made with precision
For another smoke
What a joke
A fool
Utter fool
That’s me.

april-fools-day

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: