Scared of the dark. That’s a funny expression if you think about it. It’s not that we are scared of the dark but of what might be hidden in that darkness.
I know that growing up and if I am truly honest, even now from time-to-time, I am afraid of the dark. Too many terrifying experiences – some even shared – to discount the idea that sometimes the dark isn’t actually hiding something. These days, it is more the memory of things that once happened that can have my heart palpitating, my palms sweaty and the back of my neck hot and prickly! These days, I am able to consciously bring matters under control quite quickly and that is usually all it takes to control the fear. I learned this technique studying magic. Mental discipline is part of the training in all magical systems and it is a basic requirement.
I came to the conclusion several years ago that many unwanted supernatural experiences were happening because of my fear. Whether you believe in the supernatural or not, this can be explained as either something feeding off the fear or my fear creating the experience in my mind. It matters not because I believe both are the same anyway – everything I experience I create in my mind. This is why mental discipline is a key part of magical training.
These days, my fear of the dark is primarily a fear of what may be inside of me in my inner make up rather than anything that might be out there. Know thyself is another part of magical training and as we dig deep into our own psyche, we can meet aspects of ourselves we would rather remained buried and in the dark. However, we need to shine light on these negative aspects of ourselves and try to balance them if we are to progress. Perhaps the hardest thing is to be critical of ourselves and to recognize and come to terms with our flaws, shortcomings and plain evilness. The Great Work is the process by which we constantly boil and condense, heat and cool, wash and burn, the aspects of our selves seeking the transformation of these baser elements in to the pure gold we should be. It is a lifetime’s work as we often are oblivious to our own flaws only recognizing them as we gain experience.
The darkness is both outside and inside of us and I have come to understand that the darkness inside is projected out to the darkness on the outside. I am still afraid of the dark because it hides things about myself I have yet to discover, balance or conquer.