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When It Just Seems Dark

For the last months I have felt as if I simply wait to die. I have no interest in anything. I see negative everywhere. I sit and try to plan – after all I’m single these days – I can do or be anything that I want right – but I don’t actually know what I want! I spent a lifetime knowing what I wanted and achieving and now, I can’t plan a day ahead and if I do, I can’t be bothered to do it anyway. I want to sleep but my sleep is full of dreams that are painful and wake me up. Everything seems magnified and more difficult than it should be. I have also noticed that I have been shedding ‘friends’ at exactly the point when

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What’s On the Menu? Apparently, Me!

I have been asked many times ‘What is Magic?’ It’s a tough question to answer. This weekend though, I think I experienced all aspects of magic. There was the magic of a friendship of many years finally given quality time, there was the magic of a new and almost instantaneous new friendship, there was the magic of late night joyful discussions over alcohol and cigarettes, there was the magic of tears – mostly through sheer joy (but maybe also through an England berth in a world cup semi-final), there was the magic of the Earth and small rituals, there was the magic of renewal and cleansing, there was the magic of a heartfelt prayer answered immediately in a surprising way, there was intuition, strange coincidence, and much more….there was even

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Should I Podcast?

I have been wondering about doing a podcast for a while now – something creepy perhaps? What do you think? Something like this – a video I did a couple of years ago now. Podcasting may be a little easier than building the video so maybe I will give it a try. Meanwhile – pop over to My Haunted Life Too for a bunch more terrifying ghost stories….

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Resurrection

The darkness crept in like a thief in the night It came from an unexpected source It clouded my judgement It froze the blood in my veins Its hard to see in the dark All you can do is try to feel the pain   Pushing, pushing darkness away The source of my pain The lady who lit me up Stole my light bit by bit The fire she started was never for me But only for her   The dawn is breaking over my heart And the embers of love still remain There to be fueled and burst aflame But not by her, not ever again The darkness and all that pain Is passing as I live again.        

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The Early Years Released

The Early Years – my first foray into music is now released and available digitally on most music sites… do give it a listen!

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Do you think that would sell?

So who shouts the loudest? Am I getting through? Satisfying you Seeking an audience So very hard Need to sell my soul Or get a little luck Nip and tuck My way to fame I have ambition And I’d sell for cheap Until contrition Set in and spoiled it Tweet and turn Leave a mark In indelible ink Or a coffee stain By the kitchen sink Listen, I got stuff to tell Ghosty ghoulies Scary as hell Do you think that would sell?

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Infinity

Sometimes You just need to laugh Life Irony It’s a just a cold bath You think you are in control You think it’s all about you But fate says, hey Wake up! It’s not about you But me You see I am you reflected Projected Onto a silver screen You wanna laugh? You wanna scream? Don’t – it’s just a silly dream The things you do The things you say Irrelevant anyway Just another way For Fate to have her evil way Laugh Cry It’s all the same to me I am, your are, you see? We are one and in a dream Life Death The coldness of reality Brutality Expressed One way or another You will discover It’s just lame No blame All the same A song to infinity

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The Stripper

For many years, I drove everyday – at least once and sometime twice – from The woodlands, TX to the center of Houston. In all of that time, I would listen to the radio and curse that most often, the song played would be never said. I hate that. Anyway, recently, I found out that many of the songs that I enjoyed were by a British band called Bush. Yep- almost all those songs that I itched to know – who? Bush! Strange. There I am in the US and its British music I adore – though I didn’t know it then. It reminds me of a trip I made there for a week and the Partner of our firm took me – somewhat reluctantly – to a strip club.

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A Pilgrimage

Today, I took some time and went to Opava. It is only a couple of hours from Brno, but I have delayed the trip too many times. I went in search of Franz Bardon.. Frantisek Bardon in Czech… and I found him. His grave is located in Opava Kylesovice.   Standing by his grave, I found the atmosphere calm, peaceful, but electric… The grave is very well kept as well. There was, for me, a definite presence…   Having paid my respects, I looked for his house located close by the cemetery and I believe this is it… based on Martin Faulks video...     I then went into town and hunted down his flat, place of birth and lab… This photo is of the street in which he had

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Death On The Beach

Yes – call me crazy,  but I think another collection of poetry is on its way….. Death On The Beach is the working title and here, read by yours truly, is the poem that gives the book its title.      

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