meditation

Magical Practice and Imagination

Sometimes the thought of meditating and conducting what amount to tortuous mental exercises is less than compelling. It takes effort, it is repetitive and you can go for weeks without any meaningful results. But there is no way out. You can’t learn magic from a book! It has to be via hours and hours of practice. Sometimes, I go for days without doing formal exercises instead practicing various things like pore breathing and so on in those moments when I have some time. After a while, I make a renewed effort to get formal again. The plain fact is, its pretty bloody tedious. The biggest part of magic is imagination. You simply have to be able to imagine and to see/feel/hear things that you imagine. One exercise I practice all

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Imagining

Sometimes, in a meditative state, I have some impressions about imagination. I can barely explain in words what these are except to say that I get the strongest idea that if I could truly imagine something as really there, it would be and that this is how everything works. What is even stranger is that I often have a memory of being very young and being able to do this. I haven’t explained very well. I can’t. It is very frustrating though because it is a knowledge and a memory and then it’s gone again. It’s leaving is tinged with the sadness of knowing that I knew this/know this/can do this/did do this but have now forgotten how. I have also experienced this same sense of loss on waking up

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Plumbing

I’m not sure what consciousness is and apparently scientists are clueless too but, I do know that I am conscious – most of the time. Consciousness is associated with the brain – I guess people would argue as to whether the brain is an instrument of consciousness or actually creates the illusion of it. I prefer to believe the former of course. However, if you really think about what we are we are just brains on sticks. The stick is the spine of course but that’s pretty much what we are right? A brain on a stick. The rest of it is plumbing and a sack to hold it all in. The problem is that occasionally, the plumbing goes wrong. It did for me. About 18-months ago, my plumbing had

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The Measurement Problem

As a small boy, I recall quite often thinking and imagining that in reality, I was sat on a chair in a small room looking at a TV screen and controlling myself through a set of knobs and levers in front to me. In this dreamlike imagining, there were rows upon rows of these small rooms or booths each with an occupant managing their virtual life. Remember, I was thinking and dreaming this in the mid 1960’s before color TVs, computers, virtual reality and The Matrix movie. I mentioned this also in Inner Journeys: Explorations of the Soul. Additionally, at that age, I had not widely read any books and quite honestly, other than Watch with Mother, I hadn’t seen much TV either (in black and white on a box-like

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Peter the Roman, Fatima, and The Truth

I am stuck at home sick. Apparently, it is inflammation of the lung so I am miserable because, not only am I under the weather but, I have to quit the cigs! At times like these, I don’t have much energy and resort to browsing the internet mainly because Czech T.V. isn’t much fun. I often end up chasing down topics across the net and last night was no exception. For some reason, I found myself reading about the Fatima children and the three secrets. I started searching on the fact that the Pope is resigning, found all kinds of doomsday nonsense about the Last Pope – Peter the Roman, and from there, went to the Fatima stories. My initial thought, trawling through this material on the web, was good

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The Fool

In Inner Journeys, I took some of my magickal diary extracts and interspersed them through the book for effect and to reinforce the content…. Here is one from the book on The Fool. The Fool seems foolish because he is not limited by rules or conventions – the barriers that we create for ourselves in this world. I say that I can’t do something because I believe that I cannot or I have been told that I cannot but the Fool has no expectations and does whatever. Not knowing that “it cannot be done” he does it anyway. The limitations that we apply to ourselves do not apply to the Fool. This is not to say that natural laws can be broken but that self-limitations do not exist. As the

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The Flame of Desire.

Fire is the first born and fire is like desire. The desire to know, to understand, to be who you are. Once this fire is lit it will burn even if that burning is just a smoulder. This is why people say that ‘they will light a fire’ under someone. They mean that they wish to see more desire. This search must start through contemplation – inward looking searching for the real Self. This can take many hours, days, weeks even years or more but in the cloud there is the light of knowing. In the center of your darkness it is doused with the light and as that light extends outwards and through your soul more and more is exposed. Many will stop at the first flicker not liking

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Life as a Symbol

I read recently somewhere on the internet that inner contacts can be viewed simply as symbols. I apologize to whoever wrote this as I cannot recall where I read it and who wrote it but it was a bit of a critique of the concept of inner contacts altogether! But the thought has persisted with me. Standing outside just now puffing on a cigarette, I noticed a mall patch of moss. It was bright green and truly beautiful. As I noticed the moss I started to look around and observe. The trees, the blue sky, the birds singing. The amazing beauty of nature. All symbols. Life is a moving movie of symbols that we simply need to observe and puzzle out their meaning. That bright green moss, that little islands

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Whom does the Grail serve?

Meditation today raised the question “Whom does the grail serve?” This last few weeks has been difficult. It is still difficult. I am melancholy, in a deep dark hole. I am sick and can’t seem to get well. Everything suddenly seems gray, unexciting, uninspiring and difficult. Perhaps it is no coincidence that tomorrow will mark the first anniversary of my Father’s passing. In my mind, I saw my Father and I understood his great joy at my birth. His love for me his eldest child and I guess the child he really hadn’t wanted. But, somehow, my birth became a moment of significance in his life and how he celebrated Fatherhood! Becoming a father changed him fundamentally and I think, gave him meaning. My brothers will agree that he was

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Sucked in and Spat out

There are times when life simply sucks you in. The moment at which that sucking in begins is tough to actually identify but there comes a moment when you understand that you are once again totally wrapped up in life. I mean of course the outer life that can become all consuming. For me, the recognition arrives numbingly in the form of a general but nondescript feeling of tiredness and lack of energy. Next is often some form of low grade illness that no matter what will not go away. At this point, one simply feels encased in imagined responsibilities, stresses and pressures and there can truly seem to be no escape. Until you realize and understand that the operative word is “IMAGINED.” At these moments, it pays to examine

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