Life

Musical Declaration of Freedom

It’s been sometime coming. But, finally, I declare myself FREE. In the words of this latest song… It’s my life, It’s my life, It’s my life and I’m going to live it! In recent weeks, many things have changed and some very important people have entered my life. The Universe has been kicking my ass! So, here is my anthem – take a listen… Plainly, this moment was coming for as I wrote End of the World – It came to me in silence Came as if in a dream It was plain to see Nothing I could do That’s when I saw you Eyes met across the room Now I’m with you The end of things is coming It’s all a matter of time It’s plain to see Nothing

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OK, OK,I get it!!!!

Recently, I wrote about being on the menu. It seems as if I still am. Over the weeks that have followed, so many strange things have occurred that defy really any logical explanation, that seem to be repeating the same message to me over and over. Yesterday, was quite bizarre and was a day in which I saw a friend connect with a girl in a rapid and strange way. My friend is a younger generation to me, and the girl he/we met, considerable younger – in her early twenties. Her English was not so good, but my friend was able to translate. So, let me repeat – met this girl for the first time at 9pm as a result of an event that took place with my friend and

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Ride to the Danube

Wouldn’t it be strange If I found you alone on a train Wouldn’t it be just like lady Fate To send you to me too late But, I believe in miracles Guess I always did And I believe in dreaming You can think me stupid Life is nothing but a dream anyway   When I look in a mirror I don’t like what I see looking back Mortally wounded – so very deep But the mirror I met on that railway track She can light me up Alchemy on wheels And I believe in dreaming I just like how it feels I’m feeling and dreaming anyway   A ride to the Danube Clawing my way back from hell A glimpse of heaven in you Drinking at my wishing well Not

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Living Solo

For something like 35-years I have been in a relationship. For the last few months I have been well and truly single. At first, I was horrified and still find going to bed alone deeply troublesome but I have grown somewhat used to being single and begin to see many benefits. No one tells me what to do If I want to watch Hull City games, no one objects If I want to have a glass of wine, I can If I feel like eating, I do I am under no pressure to get up with others every morning I can play my guitar LOUD – and my music too Yes. Actually, when and if I meet someone new, it might be difficult to shall we say, re-adjust.

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The Stream of Magic

I’ve talked in these pages many times about the stream of life and the song, row, row, row the boat. I confess to finding this little song fascinating as an esoteric writing. Just recently, I have been through a very deep and long lasting depression caused in some sense by the break up of a long-term relationship and then the need to come to terms with being single, a bit isolated in the Czech republic and realizing I had lost sight of myself and what I wanted. Well, a few weeks ago, I woke up one morning and just decided that any rebirth had to start with changing a few basic things like diet, my weight and attitude. I woke up realising I was creating my own miserable reality by

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Wasted Energy

I have written poems and blogs about this and yet, sometimes you have to be reminded. There is a flow to life – some call it fate, perhaps others karma – it takes you were you need to go, to the people you must meet and to the lessons you must learn. If we just went with the flow all would be well. Its the children’s rhyme that always reminds me of this – Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream, Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily Life is but a dream The problem is that sometimes we get stuck on a rock or we see something that makes us want to row against the stream. So we beat like mad. We lose sight of where life is taking us.

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Hello World!

I just woke up from a bad dream. Did I really cut myself out of my own life for all those years? Yes, I did. For the love of someone else, I turned my back on what I was and spent my time giving what I thought she wanted and denying who I was. Well no more. The last 10-years has been all about someone else. A person who pulled me in to push me away. Over and over. Who criticized the core of my being and shamed me into being someone I am not and never will be. Quite honestly, I can’t believe this happened at all. What was I thinking? Hello World…… Hello Gary. I’m glad you are back. Forgive me. I was lost. But Im finding my

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Moving On

There are moments in life in which fate acts. That can be the only explanation. Just like the Tower tarot, your world is shaken and the foundations tested and even as the chaos seems to grow and overtake everything, the Sun will shine on a new dawn and the wheel of life keeps turning. For the last few months, I have taken shelter, as the tower shook and then crumbled on its unstable foundations. I found myself powerless to act. I was afraid. Afraid of losing a sense of stability and of something that I thought I valued. Everywhere I went, everyone I met, and even the signs in the sky kept telling me the same message that I didn’t want to hear. Like the monkeys, I blocked my ears

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Looking for Love in A Foreign City

Now I am single again, my attention has already turned to trying to get out there and about. In truth, I’m not ready. I need to heal first. But, love won’t come looking for me sitting alone in my apartment watching Californication and wondering why I can’t act a bit more like David Duchovny’s character. So you sign up for a dating site or two and you set off for any party, get together, or meeting you can find. These dating sites are a crock though. I mean how do you decide if you like a person or not based on their best polished and photoshopped picture? I did get a bit of an ego trip though signing up for one. After just a day my profile was locked so

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Heartache City

Eleven years ago, I fell in love. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t focus. I was intoxicated. Over the 11-years there were ups and downs and perhaps in retrospect signs that all was not quite OK. The funny thing is, often you don’t actually register the signs until afterwards. The last 2-3 years have been one long roller coaster of off and on again culminating in me finally moving out a few months ago. Even then, all was to some extent OK. I still loved her but I needed to get some space and process things a bit. In my heart, I think I knew that it was over but I held out that little glimmer of hope that somehow, the woman I once knew and loved would

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